The first step is to heal from the scars that your ex left you with, and then, learn to let go and slowly find ways to trust women again.[Read: 8 sneakily accurate ways to tell if a woman is lying] You are not the first guy to be hurt by a woman, and you most definitely won’t be the last, but you can leave the past hurts and resentments behind you, and take control of your future.This is why we can be very angry with ourselves and struggle to trust because in over arching with our benevolence, we recognise that we’ve made a big mistake.When we keep plugging away, it’s because it would be ‘better’ for them to prove our trust investment right than for us to admit we’ve made a mistake.I have to admit I’m quite surprised by this and I am not surprised at all.
However, what men don’t understand is this strategy actually backfires on them and hurts the situation more than helps! Women have several past exes they are still resentful of or regretful about, in some way, and their pain has not been spoken about or healed. Let’s face it, there are some men who should be single. The other reality is there are some great men out there looking for a fulfilling relationship with a woman.Would you be surprised if I told you the average woman does not trust men?The average woman says her level of trust in men is only a 4 on a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is the highest level of trust.It’s like thinking “OK I know I’ve just found out that you’re only up for sex / physically menacing / are shagging someone else / have cheated on me / are married / claim you don’t want a relationship and yada yada yada, but you know what? Someone else might think ‘Shag this for a game of soldiers! I reckon, if I show you how good, kind, generous and loving a person I am by trusting and having faith in you in spite of your problems, you’ll love me. If you’ve ever taken someone back after a breakup or stayed after a betrayal, there’s a distinct possibility that you still think that the other person is ‘earning’ your trust even though you’ve ‘given them another chance’.However in making the decision to take them back or to ‘work at things’, even though you may be saying you don’t trust them ‘yet’ or that they’ve ‘got a long way to go before they earn their way back into your good books’, in resolving to be together, you have trusted.